Dear other self,
Its been a years since you changed.
I know there are some things that we need to let go of the past in order for us to be happy and free. I know that your hate cages all the good things about you. And it’s not good for you and it’s not also good for your heart. How can you be totally happy if you still holding into something that’s unnecessarily? It brings so much weighs to your heart – carrying all the hatred and burdens in your heart – and that makes bitterness in life.
I know that it is hard to forgive someone. It is hard to forgive those people who broke your trust. Nobody’s perfect. Yes it is, how can we learn if we don’t want to allow ourselves to be learned from the mistakes in the past. Past is something that will lead us to the brighter future that makes us to be strong and wise. You know what? Forgiving is a special gift from God. Why ? because it is the only way that makes our heart freely from the burdens inside of our hearts – from your hate to love..
It gives us peaceful living that everybody wants to. Well, its time for you to forgive them for you able to feel what life is it.
Love makes people weak.
What is love? Everybody is asking what love is all about? Why do most of the people are willing to take a risk and make themselves fool? When will you know that it is love? Why is it hurt? How does it feels? Why do we give too much efforts and time for it? Do we need to invest it? Oh! not investing money for businesses but investing an emotions.
Love is something that unexplainable, right? It is only defined by the actions you do to someone not by the any other words that you have learned from the dictionaries. Unconditional love is something we feel from our parents that no one can replace it. An everlasting love is something we feel from God. A love from the friends is something so special that cannot take away easily. But the main topic that we’re talking about is the romantic love, that is something we feel from someone that we never intend to do so. When will you know that it is love? Well, we do not know when the exactly we feel the love. But it is in from the start the moment we cry for someone, I guess. We love because we choose to love. We hurt because of love. We cry because of love. We take a risk because of love. We sacrifice because of love. And that love makes us weaker and it is because we invest too much emotions on it.
Why is it important the TRUST in every relationships? It is very important because it is the center of every relationships that no matter what they do, where they go, and how far they have been go through – no one can break the trust even the temptations that always surrounds us. Nevertheless, it shows loyalty to your partner. It is not only the loyalty that shows but also you respect him/her and you respect your relationship.
Love makes you understands each other. Love teaches you to be patient. Because love cares at all.
PRIDE. Every relationship breaks because of the pride we have. It is in the attitude of one-selves that no one can touches their ego. But we don’t need the pride when it comes to love because if we really love someone, we need to take our pride lower. And that’s we’ll leads us to betterment of the relationship – that maturity includes it.
Love is not about giving flowers and chocolates every occasions. Love is not about the how much we do an efforts but still we need to feel it. Love is not about how far the relationships it takes. Love is not about the number of months and anniversaries. Love is not about what we give and take – but love is something we need it.
Therefore, world is made because of the love.
It was a creepy 2:29am, February 03, 2018.
I had a nightmare but its a random and undetailed sequences. The last part of the nightmare I was dreaming of, there’s someone talked to me weirdly and said, “Choose someone who will stay. Choose someone who will take good care for you. Choose someone who will love you. And lastly, choose someone who will always looks after you.” So I suddenly open my eyes widely. I totally got confused about my dream. I don’t know what is the meaning about what he/she said. It was not totally dark in my room. And when I glance at the door I saw someone who’s standing outside. I haven’t see it clearly but I’m pretty sure that it is not my hallucinations. I didn’t move. I shouted “Shooo! Shooo! Shooo!” to let him/her go but it’s not what I thought. I’m afraid and feel threatened. So I forcefully waking my sister to be awake, and now she’s mad. She angrily said ,“ WHAT?” So I commanded her to turn on the lights for a couple of minutes. She said, “I’m still sleepy.” I beg her. I beg her. And I beg her until she gets mad at me. Later on, she asked why? So I told her everything. A MOMENT OF SILENCE, we heard some footsteps and I guess someone’s leaving. My sister was busy typing on her phone and she let me read her message said, “ I thought it was my hallucinations, too.”
It was so shocking. It leaves me hanging and so much confusing. A lot of questions running in my head. What was the connection of the (wo)man in the dark to my nightmare? What is the meaning? Is it true? How? Or was just our hallucinations? Or a coincidence? Or was just our imaginations? But how come, my sister also feels the same way.
Well, there are a lots of questions in this unfathomable universe that never had an answers and will be never had one. No one can justify it. Even the existentialist cannot prove it but leaves a theories.
Only thing that we can do is to pray. Have faith on him.